Special Election Edition

We're back! (Not the 1993 movie about dinosaurs, which is "We're Back!, A Dinosaur's Story," but just simply "We're back!") And boy oh boy oh boy, does it feel good! We miss you, loyal readers. It's been way too long. So—let's get down to business. (I don't got no time to play around, what is this? Must be a circus in town to shut the sh*t down on these clowns. Can I get a witness?)

Anyway, let's actually get down to business. The Groove is proud as a peacock to break the important news that the United States will soon be having a big election in which we will elect a new president.

"Yikes," you're thinking. "What should I do?"

Welp, Tommy and Rachie Pie would like to answer that question—after some reflection—with the injection of an election suggestion, in four parts, Groove-style! But, before we unveil our four-part election prescription, we'd like to mention that some people think it's very important to vote, while some others think it's not at all important and they don't vote. After reading The Groove's election tips (assuming you're still reading this), we think you'll agree that The Groove comes down on the side of being for voting.

And now, presenting ... Election Suggestions, Groove Style!

1) Find out who the candidates are.

2) Do some research and learn where they stand on the issues.

3) Figure out where you stand on the issues.

4) Vote for the candidate whose positions on the issues are most in line with yours.

This is exactly how Tommy and Rachie Pie roll, except for one thing—Rachie Pie is too young to vote, so she leaves out step number 4.

In our July 5 installment, Groovin'—On a Sunday Afternoon, we did a hard-hitting, in depth piece on the high prices of gasoline. Well, since then you've surely noticed that gas prices have gone down. We at The Groove—"we" being...duh!...have been wondering if the lowering of gas prices might be related in some way to the election, and we'd like to hear your thoughts on that. Just kidding. Kidding about that, yes. But not kidding when we say that today is Ben Goldstein's TWENTIETH BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEN (GOLDSTEIN).

Love,

The Groove

Special Continental Edition—The Groove Visits France and Italy

Greetings, loyal readers! It's Tommy and Rachie Pie, welcoming you back to The Groove with tremendous, over-the-top enthusiasm, love and hospitality! Are you hip to the fact that many people like to start their day with a cup of coffee and The Groove?

And now, for the fine athletes currently competing in the Tour de France, The Groove offers this song, to be sung to the tune of Hello Young Lovers:

Hello Tour de France, wherever you are,

Bordeaux, the Alps or the Louvre.

And after completing your cycling each day,

Sit back and relax with The Groove.

Be brave, young cyclists, and follow your star,

O'er mountains, through deserts and fog.

Where'er your journey may take you, good friends,

We ask that The Groove be your blog.

(We ask that The Groove be your blog.)

(We ask that The Groove be your blog.)

Did somebody say, "France?" (Get it? Tour de France?) 'Cause if they did, then they said the place where Miriam (fan of, and frequent commentator on, The Groove; daughter of T. and sister of R.P.) happens to be grooving these days.

Big, BIG blog news from Italy: Rachie and Tommy have just learned that The Groove has been nominated for a Blogatini award for "Best Foreign Blog." The Blogatini is to blogs in Italy what the Oscar is to film in the U.S. (Take your time figuring that out.) This means that Italy considers The Groove to possibly be the best blog in the world!

And now, The Groove would like to take a moment to sing (or, should we say, bark) the praises of three dogs--actually, three white dogs, although their race is irrelevant. We don't know their names, but you can read their comment by clicking on "comments" right under The Groove's June 11 installment, Blah Blah Blog. These dogs are groovy cats who clearly get The Groove and its mission of simple, total groove. They get it, and they get It. THEY--GET--IT! And so--a toast: "To Three White Dogs--You can groove with The Groove any day."

Groovin'—On a Sunday Afternoon

Helloooooooooooo, fans of The Groove (and also those of you who are not fans of The Groove but are reading this).

Carnegie Mellon is the only university in the U.S. that offers a Bachelors degree in bagpiping.

Grooving Pittsburgh-style

June 23: Today Tommy and Rachie Pie are heading out on a road trip to Pittsburgh and lands beyond. For those of you who don't know much about Pittsburgh, here's some resource information. 1) Once Tommy was in a restaurant and his friend ordered chopped steak "Pittsburgh medium," and Tommy didn't know what that was. 2) One summer when he was a kid, Tommy's father (Rachie's grandfather) worked in a steel mill in Pittsburgh.

Politics Groove-style

Recently T. and R.P. were driving someplace and Tommy's car needed gas so they pulled into what happened to be a brand-new (ALERT! ALERT! Irrelevant fact!) gas station. After filling the tank Tommy told Rachie that that was the most he had ever paid for gas in his entire life.

As we've mentioned previously the price of gas is a HUGE problem. Fortunately, we're doing something about it.

The New York Times Recognizes The Groove

In his June 27 New York Times Op-Ed column, columnist David Brooks writes:

"Over the past five years, a group of young and unpredictable rightward-leaning writers has emerged on the scene... these writers did not rise through the official channels of the conservative or libertarian establishments. By and large, they didn't do the internships or take part in the young leader programs that were designed to replenish 'the movement.' Instead, they found their voices while blogging..."

Thank you, David Brooks! And similarly we at The Groove commend the fine journalistic work that you and your colleagues do at the New York Times.

Andy's Corner

July 3: Today Andy's car passed the vehicle emissions test. Praise be to God!

Blog for the Cure

Greetings! And welcome once again to--you guessed it--the grooviest blog in town, The Grove--I mean, The Groove. And yes, you're absolutely right. We've TOTALLY changed our look. Hope you can groove on it! And now . . . L E T . . . . . . . . . T H E   B L O G G I N G . . . . . . . . . B E G I N ! ! !

Some bloggers blog for the sheer love of it; others, because it's so lucrative. You can usually tell after a sentence or two which type you're reading. In the case of a no-nonsense, hard-hitting, take-no-prisoners blog like The Groove, you're probably thinking, "Gee, on the one hand, they obviously love blogging, and on the other, they're extremely knowledgeable on the issues."

Well, first of all, thank you for the compliment. And second, The Groove is committed to telling it like it is, which includes both telling it like it is, and telling "It" like it is. The Groove: thorough? Of course. All-encompassing? Absolutely. So all-encompassing in fact that Margo Tillman-Blythe of the Los Angeles Times writes, "The Groove simply out-grooves many things that groove but are not blogs, but that still groove, albeit in non-blog kinds of ways."

We've gotten an unusually long way into this installment without mentioning Tommy or Rachie Pie.

    Rachie: Isn't free-styling way heavier than composed rap?

    Tommy: I'm not sure, Rach.

Now that's blogging.

Blah Blah Blog

Greetings, fellow Bloggers, Blogmeisters and Blogotopians. Welcome once again to The Groove.

Big Blog News: On Saturday, May 31 Rachie and Tommy made the scene at the Mondawmin Mall DMV Office where RACHIE PIE GOT HER LEARNER'S PERMIT!! Hallelujah! Congratulations to Rachie!! (Caution, motorists.) Since then she has driven three times, with yours truly, Tommy Boy, in the navigator's seat.

Up until now, I (Tommy) have been referring to our blog entries as "installments," but the other day I learned something that many--possibly all--bloggers seem to already know: that bloggers call their blog entries "posts." I ran my new revelation by Rachie and guess what. She's known this all along, but has kindly spared me the humiliation of being corrected.

June 7: Tommy and Rachie Pie arrived in New York City last night. They/We are staying at a Holiday Inn, and (at the risk of sounding like a braggart), since I, Tommy Boy, am a bona fide member of the esteemed Priority Club, our reservation includes: 1) a voucher good for one free drink at the hotel bar; 2) a free bottle of water waiting for us in our room; 3) a plate of eight assorted cookies on a doily. Let us be perfectly clear--these amenities would not be available to us if Tommy were not a member of the esteemed Priority Club.

Uh-oh. Tommy just discovered that he forgot to pack antiperspirant, and it's like the hottest day of the year! Meanwhile, Rachie forgot to pack Q-tips (We know, we know. "Q-tips" is a brand name--the product is "cotton swabs." Attention, other cotton swab companies [if there are any]. Please don't sue us for calling cotton swabs "Q-tips.")

Breadth or Depth

We at The Groove have been receiving a number of inquiries about whether our journalistic goal is to address a plethora of issues across a variety of different areas, or to delve deeply, thoroughly, and aggressively into a select group of issues. In other words, is our intent one of breadth--or depth? Our editorial staff (Rachie Pie and Tommy) met to discuss this and made the following determination: we don't care, and we will not be worrying about it.

We would really like to encourage our readers, you, to post comments on the blog. In order to entice you to do so, we have created a riddle, and we are asking you to post, as a comment, your own answer (or answers). We might decide to make this a contest, in which case the best answer, as determined by our impartial judge Andy (Tommy's wife and Rachie's mother), will be the winner and will be announced as such in one of our upcoming blog installments. (To answer the riddle, click on "comments" at the bottom of this installment and follow the INCREDIBLY simple instructions.)

And now, here's the riddle: How many bloggers does it take to change a light bulb?

Groovin' Memorial Day Weekend Style

Ahoy there mateys, Now gather 'round

We've come to you. We're in your town.

There's nothing Rachie Pie needs to prove,

She's asking you simply to read The Groove.

The newest blog! (Did we mention The Groove?)

Whilst Rachie will twist, Tommy will move,

As he cooks a bump right off your log,

And serves it up in a mind-blowing blog.

Hey blogheads, get a grip. Wake up to reality (Cole Porter) because it's time for our third installment of--that's right--The Groove!

The Groove grooves harder, better, and sicker than any blog out there that's also called The Groove but that we don't know about (about its also being called "The Groove," that is). Besides our not knowing that it's called "The Groove," we also don't know about it*, period. (An asterisk means scroll down to the bottom of this installment and look for another asterisk!)

Ha-ha. Guess what. This is the only blog that's called The Groove!!! (Actually it's not.)

And now, another installment in our regular series, Politics Groove-style:

Rachie Pie: Dad, I'm noticing that gas prices have gotten super high.

Tommy: Yes, Rachie. It's a serious problem.

Rachie Pie: What's the solution, Dad?

Tommy: Well, one solution is what we've done: create a blog that takes a detailed, in-depth look at the problem.

A lot of people have asked us, "What is a blog?" Well, "blog" is spelled b-l-o-g. It is pronounced like the word "log," but with a "b" sound at the beginning. It has a spelling, a pronunciation, a definition, and maybe other stuff, too. To understand its meaning, allow us to use it in a sentence: "I enjoyed that blog." Now we will use it in the verb form in a bunch of sentences: "I will blog today." "Blog and be merry." "Have a piece of delicious toast while I blog." Here it is in the adjectival form. "Welcome to blog territory." Here it is replacing a word in a Martin Luther King speech. "I have a blog."

        * We don't know about it, but we know about

            "It." (See paragraph one of our previous

            blog entry, Groovin' On.)

Groovin' On

Greetings, friends, and welcome once again to--you guessed it--the greatest new blog in town, or, as our readers (and we) affectionately call it, "The Groove." This installment of The Groove will outline what Rachie Pie likes to call "It," because it is simply the crux, the heart, the essence, the gist--of what we're all about.

Bloggers come in all shapes, sizes and colores. But rest assured that Rachie Pie and the Big Man (i.e., Tommy Boy) are not just another cog in the blog fog machine. Blogging is the fashion, but blogging is our passion! So if you don't "get it," take a moment, sit down, and read "The Groove." (HEY, YOU'RE DOING THAT RIGHT NOW--LOL.)

And now--Introducing the Groove's new political segment, Politics Groove-style.

Hillary seems better on the issues,

But Obama's speeches--well--get out the tissues.

In our next installment of The Groove, we will be promoting our new CD, "The Flounder--They Flounder."

Introducing The Groove

Greetings, fellow bloggers, and welcome to our new blog, "The Groove." First, obviously, we should introduce ourselves. I'm Tommy, a blogger with a mission, and my partner in blog crime is Rachie Pie, and suffice it to say, she's been around the blog a few times!

Our blog tells it like it is, because it is the firm belief of Rachie Pie and yours truly that, if we don't lay our cards on the table big-time for our readers, our readers aren't going to know what cards we've got, pure and simple.

And now that we've piqued your curiosity, let's get right down to business and into our first blog, which is called:

Our Very First Blog

Tommy - Holy blog, Rachie Pie. The weather has been really beautiful lately, but I can't help wondering how much of that can be attributed to global warming.

Rachie Pie - Yeah, Dad. (Tommy and Rachie Pie are father and daughter.) Global warming really vibes me out!

Tommy - Exactly! Some people are in denial.

Rachie Pie - Yeah, I know.