PRE-Grooving

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Only.
Only who?
Only the most highly acclaimed, well-respected blog in [insert name of your country here].

Aloha, Greetings, and Hello, readers who might be surprised that Tommy Boy and Rachie Pie are back in their blogging saddles, grooving and grooving hard, with their long-awaited new installment of [insert fanfare music] The Groove! Thank you, thank you, thank you, readers, for your robust, unwavering loyalty throughout our brief, five-year hiatus. (We looked up “hiatus” to make sure it was the appropriate word and that we were spelling it right.) However, if you are reading The Groove for the first time, expressions of gratitude for robust, unwavering loyalty don’t apply. Rather, we wholeheartedly welcome you to The Groove with the hollow words, Welcome to The Groove! Readers of The Groove have known since a year or two after the Big Bang that The Groove is the concise, snappy, to-the-point, waste-no-words, hard-hitting, succinct, multi-award-winning, groove-based, highbrow blog where IT ALL GOES DOWN!!! But first it goes UP, which we definitely consider unimportant, and which is actually not even true. And speaking of getting right to the point, several of the critical topics we’ll be covering in today’s installment are [drum roll] Movies, Jicama, Is Ringo a good drummer? and A world where locks aren’t necessary.


And now, welcome to Critic’s Corner, where The Groove’s in-house film critics, Tommy and Rachie Pie, present:

Tips On Reviewing A Movie

When you are critiquing, or would like to critique, a movie you’ve just seen, start by asking yourself, “Was that movie about the power of love?” Then, answer the question in a complete sentence. For example, “That movie was about the power of love.” That’s it! You have reviewed a movie.

Hey! Speaking of movie reviews, when Tommy and Rachie go to the movies, they make sure they are in their seats before the previews begin. (Previews are before the movie, and we are seated before the previews, AND “pre” means “before”!) Then, as the previews are shown, using the time-honored thumbs-up, thumbs-down, thumbs-anyplace-in-between rating method, they (said film critics, Tommy and Rachie) silently indicate how much they want or don’t want to see each movie.

In the next Critic’s Corner, esteemed film critics Tommy and Rachie will host a round-table discussion in which they and their ethnically, racially, sexually, religiously, and generationally diverse panel of guests will brainstorm, bat around, kick around, chew over, thrash out, and hash out fresh, controversial, revolutionary ideas for...Additional Tips on Reviewing a Movie.


We would like to close with one of The Groove’s most popular segments:

The Groove Gets Personal

Readers of The Groove are often surprised to learn that, considering what it takes to publish an edgy, incisive, hard-hitting blog (The Groove, duh), Tommy and Rachie Pie actually have other jobs.